Friendship.

Journal Entry no. 7

Friends were never enough. Just friends was never enough. Why not best friends? Why were we not each other's favorites? Why not more than friends?

I liked being just friends. I was content to be just friends with you. I was happy even. Because we never were "just" friends. We were friends and that was enough.

I liked riding in the car with you. I liked grabbing food with you. I liked swimming in the ocean with you. I liked shopping for Halloween costumes with you. Because it was with you. I never thought past the present moment, but in those moments, it felt like we would hang out forever. Because I loved you.

Until I didn't. I think I'll always care about you somewhere inside me, even as I think of you bittersweetly now. I wonder if you can feel it too, feel the distance steadily growing between us. We never talked about not being friends anymore. We never said we shouldn't hang out anymore.

But I would smile and say your name when I saw you, instead of the hug we would usually greet one another with. And that smile slowly turned into an awkward greeting, one where we hardly say the other's name at all. One where it doesn't feel natural to talk about what's been going on in our lives - one where it almost doesn't feel right to even ask.

I don't want to question it. Question why we stopped talking. I like to think I tried and for me, that is enough. I hope you're doing well. I hope, above all, that you are happy.